Statement Offered By BMC

This statement was presented at the meeting with COB Annual Conference Committee.

The relationship between BMC and this committee has been long and complex, stretching over decades and involving numerous committee members. I am grateful for Everett Fisher’s presence here this afternoon because, of all of us around this table, he has probably been the one who has been working at this relationship the longest. For nearly twenty years, Everett was the BMC person who was primarily responsible for relating to this committee. He was the one who dutifully requested and submitted the forms, patiently answered questions, graciously provided additional information, tirelessly engaged in countless conversations, courageously made himself available over and over again in ways that I think can be categorized as nothing short of amazing. I suspect that he has witnessed the very best and the very worst in church behavior.

I mention Everett because his presence makes it clear that although this is a brand new topic of conversation for many of you, for those of us who are part of BMC, it is a conversation that is old and increasingly tiresome. Our materials, our motives, our mission, our faith, our very existence have been scrutinized and evaluated and challenged in ways that are really unprecedented within the Church of the Brethren. We are the only group that I know of that has been denied exhibit space – that area where the many ministries of the church are on full display - for more than 25 years. We have been permitted luncheons one year and not the next, offered insight sessions one year and then nothing, dialogue rooms for “difficult situations” were attempted then abandoned, a special drop-in area was offered for awhile and then that disappeared.  With the exception of the denial of a booth, this has been a history of inconsistency and erratic decision-making that has not only maintained a sense of vulnerability for BMC but also, at least from my perspective, ironically served to exacerbate the very tensions and divisions that the committee has so desperately sought to avoid. Perhaps this is the legacy when we operate primarily from a position of fear and anxiety.

I believe wholeheartedly that most of past and present committee members are good people who have cautiously tried to make good decisions for the church. I do not believe that most have harbored great malice towards lgbt people nor sought to use their position to do harm to us, our families and those who love us. But the truth of the matter is that while the intent of most of those who have served on this committee has not been malicious, it is also true that the effects of their decisions have most directly impacted and diminished the lives of lgbt people.

You see, something happens to your soul when you sit in an AC worship service that is overflowing with the language of welcome and hospitality, yet you know that you are not wanted. Something happens to your heart when you wander through the exhibit hall and see other “special interest” groups welcomed into the space, yet you are excluded. Something happens to your spirit when you come to AC and are uncertain as to whether your love will be ridiculed, debased, condemned, deplored or ignored – or where you are viewed primarily as an issue rather than a human being.

During the course of this long relationship between BMC and Program and Arrangements, a lot of work has been happening in the world. I by no means wish to be flippant, but increasingly, the debate as to whether “the homosexual” is somehow deficient or faulty, is fast becoming stunningly obsolete. Psychology, sociology, biology, history, social ethics, theology, biblical exegesis, anthropology, and genetics – so much work has been done and overwhelmingly it challenges any assumptions of deviancy, unhealth, evil, or abnormality. It is becoming simply irresponsible to continue to cling to false stereotypes, ill-informed opinions or inaccurate biases. We can do better.

You see, for me, the pressing issue that needs to concern us is not the essential morality of homosexuality or bisexuality or transgender identity, but rather the morality of a church that persists in its harmful practice of injustice and oppression towards a particular group of people. The questions that I wish to explore are these: What happens to the soul of a church that actively and knowingly participates in the oppression and denigration of some of its own members? What are the costs? What are the implications? What does it do to the church as an institution, as a body, as a people of faith? What happens, for example, when the church takes its language of love and justice and Jesus and uses it to justify exclusion and condemnation, to punish and expel, to dehumanize and destroy? What do words about sacredness and the sanctity of family mean when parents are forced to choose between their faith community and their child? These kinds of questions are becoming more and more relevant because it is now harder and harder for the church to hide behind a façade of innocence or a curtain of ignorance.

The church is doing harm, not only to lgbt people, our families and friends, but also to itself. That is why we are here…to say, it is time to stop... it is time to stop.

Do I believe that having a booth in the exhibit hall will change the hearts and minds of every Brethren? I’d be delusional to think that. But I do think our presence would end the contortion of reason and rational that accompanies this conversation every year.  I do think it will help young people who are lgbt or questioning to feel as though there is a place for them in this church. I do think it would the mean the world for parents to know that resources and understanding are available. I do think it would offer lgbt people some assurance that we not pariahs, but sons and daughters of the church. I think it would signal that we are a church that has courage and confidence in our ability to handle challenging conversations and situations.

Like it or not, Program and Arrangements is the committee entrusted with making decisions about exhibit space. Rather than a burden, I hope you will view this responsibility as an opportunity to offer a message of inclusion rather than exclusion, of welcome rather than rejection, of boldness rather than timidity. Within this painful and trying relationship between BMC and Program and Arrangements, we note that offering exhibit space is the one option which has yet to be tried. For the sake of lgbt people as well as the church as a whole, we think it’s time for a new adventure.

Carol Wise

BMC Executive Director

August 2007